Mars is Tatooine. Jupiter is Bespin. The ancient Sumerian Tiamat is now the asteroid belt, because it is Alderon and Han Solo crashed his ship into the Swedish ocean a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. (Of course it fell though a wormhole in the Bermuda triangle from Andromeda to get here of course. And so did mars and the other planets.) Oh yes and the death star is currently orbiting Saturn, otherwise known as Iapetus. Which brings me neatly to the subject of this blog post! You see Iapetus was decommissioned when the empire realized there was no more profit to be made in Star Wars merchandise and in a fit of depression, Han Solo decided to end it all and crash his ship in Sweden, where the Nordic aliens come from. Sort of. A Swedish, seabed UFO! Kind of amazing and worth watching for follow ups to this story. (Ill be interested in seeing if this gets a ridiculous debunking treatment)

Ok I am mostly talking complete pish, but in this mishmash of concepts there is actually a few nuggets of truth! For example, did you know that a recent sonar of the seabed near Sweden has revealed something down there that bears a striking resemblance to said cool swashbuckling spice smuggler’s vessel? I’m serious!

Oh yes, and the whole planets and other features of things in our solar system in the Star Wars movies thing comes from the subconscious of George Lucas, who realized deep down that the events of Star Wars, or at least something like them, occurred in our own back yard a long time ago. The whole Galaxy far far away thing comes from the fact that it maybe sounds too much like the doctrines of a religion to make it so close to home. Placing the strange, nostalgia-inducing Star Wars movies in a galaxy far far away is more attractive to the types who would probably not watch it if it were made into a Battlestar Galactica style epic. Lucas was not about to start a religion like certain ologists that will not be mentioned who have ‘scient’ in their name (Or certain mons who have ‘mor’ in their religion’s name).

So, maybe here is another reason for the strangely open minded to believe in the cult of Star Wars being a recollection of our technologically sophisticated and space faring past! Well that’s what I think anyway. I am, after all, strange minded.

Oh yes, and if it is a stone henge thing, that’s also very cool because it means that there are actual mermaids. OK maybe not!…

There are strange goings on over the English skies in the wake of the MOD canceling their UFO reporting branch. If you believe that the futility of telling the MOD what they already know about was the reason for this, then you will probably roll your eyes at this one. Little black things darting around a bright star like object with explosions.

Lucy in the sky with diamonds my friends. Lucy in the sky.

Apparently something similar occurred over Shropshire on the 15th March. This reminds me of the claims made by that eccentric American who views the sky at night with IR goggles. We may be witnessing the battle for planet earth. Over England. Dr Who will save us with his TARDIS!

Chin chin. Stiff upper lip what.

The year is 2036 and the post 2012 world wants another disaster scenario like a flower petal needs an acid bath. Reeling from the shock of the great cosmic alignment, the new species of Homo Sapiens Deluxe crawl out from their bunkers only to be greeted by the prospect of a friendly extinction class asteroid. If only the dinosaurs had the Star Wars space defense system. Maybe then, the earth would not be inhabited by a bunch of monkeys with digital watches.

According to Nasa, the ominously named Apophis will possibly smack down on Earth on 13th April 2036 This of course is a date with a standard deviation and probability attached. Still, the best case scenario is within a lunar distance of the planet! Correct me if I’m wrong, but I seem to remember a near miss like this very recently without so much as a whimper of tidal response.

If you can believe it, back in the early 80s, Billy Meir, the one armed attention seeker from Switzerland informed us of the potential of a devastating asteroid impact ‘some time’ in the future! Maybe if the Pleiadeans had NASA.gov, they could have been a bit more accurate… Just throwin’ that out there…